Bullshit Death Medium

I love that there are people out there that think individuals can talk to dead people. If you now what I'm talking about, then that means you know I'm talking about a medium, I have seen mediums with beepers, meaning there on call. Who in there right fucking mind ever believed or believes this bullshit. Why would I ever believe that some asshole named Lady Rubio, or Rick Steffano could talk to the dead, its kinda like how I look at a priest, I can't trust or believe a person that thinks there above me, nobody is better than anyone because they have a title and there is no way that title dictates mental or spiritual ability. How does a medium really work? In my mind I would have to wanted either: A) To reconnect with the dead or: B) Get really pissed off about something and demand shit gets answered with the quick. I chose B, and hopped in a phone book, where the fuck else was I gonna look? I wanted to pick the most unique sounding professional I could find, so I closed my eyes and pointed to the ad's, figuring a higher power would guide me. I ended up on Goldylock's Truth Eternal, laughed my ass off and made the appointment. I called, and talked with Goldy and told her to "Make sure that dead fuck is in the room before I get there, time is money, and I need shit cleared up". I showed up to a house and clearly there was a party going on, so I rolled in to find that my medium Goldy is in the back BBQ'ing it up like it's a normal weekend for her. She motions over to me to step her way, clearly a private consultation was out of the question at this point, Goldy then asked me what was the situation I needed to sort out; while she flipped a burger. At this point I'm dying inside with laughter and also asking myself "What the fuck was I doing here" & "What the fuck was I thinking". So like a good sport I decided to play along and ask the mind fuck question that had been on my mind all day.  I looked old Goldy in the eyes and with a straight face asked " Goldy, why didn't my Grandfather pull out & let my Grandmother swallow the load that made my father, or at least shoot it on her tits?" Goldy then looked at the sky for about a minute and then looked at me and said, " It's because your Grandfather didn't want to sword fight in her mouth again with your Great Grandfather"