Car Industry

I could go on an 8 hour rant/bit on thee entire car industry, I've never seen anything like it. We should take the head sales honcho in all the land, study em at Oxford and see what gives them enough moxie to fuck another human being, out of every hard earned dollar that they've ever made, I'm STILL surprised they didn't ask for my family members contact info. "Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everybody, that's our motto".

Fellas, if you were that guy to spit game like....."I want to feel your emotions, your body is just a bonus", raise your hand....I like to know about grown men that will snitch to my bitch.

Just realized how bad I've been about introducing myself to new folk, in my mind I like to sit back and watch the room, figure out whom I can hold a convo with, the particulars come next.

I just wanted to say hello to everyone again and that you all disgust me.

Taking a #2 on someone's chest

I don't know why or what sick ass clown ever thought of taking a shit on someones chest during sex.  What asshole introduced that A, and B, who said "Let's do it, shit all over me please" Imagine being a fly on the wall in that room " Alright honey, lay on your back as I squat over you and make magic happen, (uncomfortable pause then a...GRUNT) ahhhhhh". I don't know about you, but if a person were to shit on my chest, the party is over and I'm rethinking my life choices right then and there, with dook still on my chest of course. The question is not only why, but we also have to look at the how factor. If a girl specifically asked for my doo doo and I was copped over her, I would still be hella leery, I know what my asshole looks like and I dont want anyone to ever see it, I guess I have an asshole complex. Maybe if you threw me a newspaper and a smoke, I would be more comfortable, but even then. Going ATM(Ass To Mouth) is another issue. I could never kiss my girl after I put it in her butt and she blew me.  I mean, a stink palm is one thing, but a stank mouth is a whole different party. All in all, I guess im old fashioned, a serious deep dicking in a woman's vagina is the route I take everytime, ass play is a detour I stray from.

Bullshit Death Medium

I love that there are people out there that think individuals can talk to dead people. If you now what I'm talking about, then that means you know I'm talking about a medium, I have seen mediums with beepers, meaning there on call. Who in there right fucking mind ever believed or believes this bullshit. Why would I ever believe that some asshole named Lady Rubio, or Rick Steffano could talk to the dead, its kinda like how I look at a priest, I can't trust or believe a person that thinks there above me, nobody is better than anyone because they have a title and there is no way that title dictates mental or spiritual ability. How does a medium really work? In my mind I would have to wanted either: A) To reconnect with the dead or: B) Get really pissed off about something and demand shit gets answered with the quick. I chose B, and hopped in a phone book, where the fuck else was I gonna look? I wanted to pick the most unique sounding professional I could find, so I closed my eyes and pointed to the ad's, figuring a higher power would guide me. I ended up on Goldylock's Truth Eternal, laughed my ass off and made the appointment. I called, and talked with Goldy and told her to "Make sure that dead fuck is in the room before I get there, time is money, and I need shit cleared up". I showed up to a house and clearly there was a party going on, so I rolled in to find that my medium Goldy is in the back BBQ'ing it up like it's a normal weekend for her. She motions over to me to step her way, clearly a private consultation was out of the question at this point, Goldy then asked me what was the situation I needed to sort out; while she flipped a burger. At this point I'm dying inside with laughter and also asking myself "What the fuck was I doing here" & "What the fuck was I thinking". So like a good sport I decided to play along and ask the mind fuck question that had been on my mind all day.  I looked old Goldy in the eyes and with a straight face asked " Goldy, why didn't my Grandfather pull out & let my Grandmother swallow the load that made my father, or at least shoot it on her tits?" Goldy then looked at the sky for about a minute and then looked at me and said, " It's because your Grandfather didn't want to sword fight in her mouth again with your Great Grandfather"

Fat kid treats

I grew up a portly bastard, husky +1 if you will. As a youth I found the bombest fat kid treats when I mixed my own concoction's. I used to hit up McDonalds for Nuggets and then ride dirty to KFC for mashers.  I learned early on that heaven was a gift in the form of this snack. Try dipping that golden nugget in the mashers and then try not to slap your mama!

The next concoction I cannot take credit for, Mama Moore knows best.  Get your favorite ice cream and bang it in a bowl, next get some Chex mix and sprinkle that love on top.  It will look like a treat that an angel shit out; but trust me, when the ice cream is melted in the bowl and at the end,  & you eat that last bite of crispy Chex, it will make you a believer!